On the Hunt For a Landlord

It’s that joyous time again, house hunting!. But this time, I’ve got some musthaves.

First off, the landlord must meet the following criteria:

1. The landlord must not be a traitor to the country.

2. Please, no more creepy Karakeçililer vibes where the landlord thinks my garden is his personal playground and sends me threatening messages!

3. I need a place where I can feel safe, the landlord won’t endanger my life with things like water, gas, flies, insects, rats, sewage, and so on.

4. Remember, I may be renting, but I’m the one paying it, so I’d like a little respect there! So as long as you got paid, I own it in these periods. Landlords can’t treat tenants like slaves! No one lives in a rented property for free like princesses and presidents.

5. The house must be detached. No apartments!

6. The house must be completely gas-free and rely solely on electricity for heating and hot water in winter.

7. No well water!

8. I prefer nature’s view, not enemies’ view!

9. And about the price and payment: hmm, some royal members graciously stripped me of all my possessions and are kindly ensuring I can’t earn a living. Naturally, my bank account is now practically singing “I’m Broke!” So please first try to receive the rent from the prince who set up this crown war and threw me in the middle and made me a target. (And good luck with that!!)

Thank you and have a lovely Monday!